How to Create Powerful Psychedelic Sex Rituals!

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Noble Secrets from an Orthodox Buddhist ex-Monk

(the guide series – part 2)

This article is the second in an ongoing series. The first is How to Use Sex and Drugs to be Enlightened. A handful of paragraphs from it are repeated here for cohesive reading. The third is 3 Facts of Life Give Every Experience – Expanded or Not – True Perspective. In today’s Psychedelic Renaissance, there is almost no enlightening information. This series fills that void. Be thoroughly prepared, and you’ll have the best adventure.

Legal Disclaimer: Pre-existing psychological and physical conditions may render any experimentation with certain meditation and yoga techniques direly consequential. Under no circumstances whatsoever should any part of this article be construed as an endorsement of activities where the law prohibits them, no matter how a statement is expressed. Due diligence is everyone’s personal responsibility. In light of all of the above statements, all liability is disclaimed.

Want To be successful? These four ingredients are essential

This article on the sacred sexual practice of incorporating Divine archetypes starts indispensably with responsibility. In this endeavor, responsibility lies within the parameters of what it means to the utmost degree to every individual. That’s where the concept of sacred sexuality really begins.

In nature, there are actions and there are the results of actions. In between the result of an action and a fresh one, there is a pivotal moment of choice. This is the karma-generating moment. It’s also the fulcrum point of power. Responsibility is being accountable for the potential consequences of your choices so as to support open-heartedly those affected by them. Understanding this form of respect will be tested to the maximum depth possible by the very nature of the ocean of living and dying itself.

Your understanding earns you the right to love and be loved moment to moment while striving for that great rush of the heart opening to the universe in full acceptance of life’s passage. Just so you know how it feels and what to do with it. This challenge is where you develop confidence in your ability to swim for setting out in life’s floods. Practice makes better.

The next non-negotiable ingredient after responsibility is trust. Trust is the act of faith that the other person is entering this act of union with the best of intentions, just like you are, and is open to improving them as well, just like you are. Blending it with responsibility results in the indispensable tantric alchemical compound called ‘mirrored trustworthiness’.

Then comes total privacy in the setting, so there are no distractions while establishing an erotic frequency. The primal generator required to establish an erotic frequency is mutually permitted and encouraged sensual lust, aka, reciprocal, passionate desire for sexual intercourse. Whipped up together and let bake, this is the basic recipe for a wholesome adult party cake. It’s sacred in and of itself thanks to the first two ingredients.

Now add a symbolic ritual as icing on top, and you have an offering fit for a Goddess. If you wish, sprinkle on some MDMA or other entheogens (substances that generate the divine within) for a little star dust and rocket fuel. Blessed be! May She arrive in full glory for the honours at Her party.

Next, you absolutely need these three powerful basics

Sacred sex is all about ‘descension’ into the body, as in, the opposite of ascension into the mind. This state of descending into the body with full attention to the point of manifesting a frequency of divinity here and now depends on three things for starters:

The first is the participants’ joint attitude based on the intention of the symbolic ritual.

The second is the male Tantrika’s ability to control his ejaculation. (A Tantrica is a practitioner of Tantra)

The third is the ability of the female Tantrika to run her sexual energy orgasmically.

Ultimately, this means she needs to be fully ejaculatory

That starts with the man’s ability to control himself because if he can’t, she’s never going to have the chance to develop it. If he can control himself and continually meet her in open, full awareness, then her innate reflex shows him where and how to take her deeper into the frequency.

Female ejaculation is not a myth. It’s a signpost of connection, both inner and outer, for a woman. For some, it’s natural, while for others, it’s a learned response. A woman who has established this connection inside of herself is said to be ‘sexually awakened.’ That doesn’t necessarily mean spiritually attuned, but physically attuned as a prerequisite in this case. Not all orgasmic ejaculations are a sign of accessing the archetypal matrix.

To women, I would like to say female ejaculation isn’t ‘icky.’ It’s your sexual birthright. Be prepared that the first one may contain urine as the liquid flows through the bladder. Urine is always sterile in a healthy person. If a blocked emotion needs clearing, the ejaculation may have a strong smell. Otherwise, it’s odorless when fresh. Being living fluid, it spoils quickly.

As one smart woman said to me, “If your man doesn’t support you in this, you’re evolving out of his league.”

Prudently using entheogens facilitates archetypal manifestation

In a sexually-unawakened woman, they can bypass the ejaculatory response or initiate it. In an awakened woman, they enhance it many times over. In a man who is still-in-training, they can assist him in expanding past the urge to ejaculate. The danger in their usage is real, including death. Indiscriminate use is a basis for madness. Due diligence is everyone’s personal responsibility.

How to manifest divinity and know you’re winning

Guiding each other to meet in a point of pleasure builds a wave of energy – the Shakti wave – for the pair of lovers to move through their bodies. Expressing their appreciation of each other’s efforts and their results strengthens the frequency. This creates another point of pleasure to build upon.

Refining the frequency develops through jointly embodying the attitude of the intention in the symbolic ritual. 

This dance is the art of sexually weaving the finer sensual realms into physical reality. Some call it Tantra. It’s one expression.

The primary sign of approaching both access to the matrix of existence and absorption into a finer-frequency state for both sexes is the incredible, palpable increase of energy in their bodies. Just the sensual deliciousness of the expanding sexual energy is enough to work with integrating into their balanced dance. The couple needs to keep their increasing vibrational rates building in harmony. Focussing on energetically connecting their torsos with each other, and remembering to smile, maintains a calm, blissful center to the cyclone.

The first visual sign of progress is a more attractive appearance to your lover’s face through his or her features refining into greater symmetry. Accompanying this is a change in the texture of the air surrounding him or her.

Keep creating energy, storing it in your body’s peripheral awareness and directing it back into your lover. Sometimes eye contact is essential. Stay balanced in your dance. Do it ‘til you’re satisfied!

For some of the visual and energetic signs of access to finer realms, please refer to the first post in this series: How to Use Sex and Drugs to be Enlightened. It also explores the best Divine archetypes to align with.

For example, for women, those would be Dakinis (Sanskrit: ‘sky dancers’), who are a category of Devas, (Pali and Sanskrit: ‘the shining ones’). ‘Uber-sexy Angels’ doesn’t quite cut it as a translation for Dakinis, but it starts to give you the idea. They’re classified as semi-wrathful finer-frequency beings which means they can also be Hellions in a snit.

Working with this form of Tantra is quite literally ‘incorporation’: the conscious embodiment of an archetype. Be it the very human Noble Magician (a natural for men), a finer-frequency being like a Dakini (Dakas are the male version) or thought of as the refinement of your own DNA’s wavelength. They all can work, fortified through repeated application. Then the stored energy shines through every pore.

Women relate to sex in a ritualised format as a precious experience and personal shrines as having profound meaning. They inherently feel symbols without having to think about them like men do. What a bouquet of flowers does to a woman is evidence of this. It’s because of what it means. A man shouldn’t underestimate the value of creating a formal ceremony honouring their intimate connection. He limits himself if he does and everyone loses.

Your intention in the ritual is all-important

Call it ‘the official adhittana’ for the exercise. The three words it takes in English, ‘intention-determination-resolution’, to cover the meaning of this Pali word shouldn’t be considered as equivalent definitions of projected desire. An adhittana is more properly a formula with three parts, just as the path to enlightenment has three parts: theory, practice and revelation.

Think of it as an intention for starters. This intention is written down on a slip of paper, then placed centrally on a shrine composed for the occasion. That anchors it into the unfolding of what’s going to happen. The focused mental and physical actions of what follows determine its effectiveness. Purposely integrating it both during and after the ritual is ‘the resolution of the equation’, as in, ‘the resulting state’. That takes it out of the realm of hypothesis, through a process into conclusion. The success of the endeavour requires conscious effort throughout.

How to make the perfect adhittana for your ritual

This is best done by the participants together with a lot of forethought. Freshly created ones work best, but sometimes one will have such significant results that it’s useful to use it again as an experiment. In my experimentation spanning untold hundreds of occasions, the beginning and ending have taken on a uniform tone.

Those are ‘Intending to maximise our sexual tantric connection… (so as to…) and integrate this into our daily living.’ A basic sample adhittana could then go something like this: ‘Intending to maximise our sexual tantric connection, trust in our guides to bring us into the highest experience possible and integrate this into our daily living.’

I stipulate ‘daily living’ as Phra George, my brilliant mentor as a monk in Thailand, impressed upon me the need to be both careful and precise with an adhittana if it was to come to pass and not potentially short-circuit itself or me. He once said to me, “‘Life’ is an abstraction but ‘living’ is a reality, just as ‘people’ is an abstraction but ‘persons’ is a reality.”

The written adhittana isn’t written in stone. Sometimes my sacred consort and I will add to it or rephrase it partway through if it occurs to us that to better manifest something such is needed. It’s most certainly not worth fighting about. That’s a sure way to blow everything.

On that note, a playful tone of co-endeavor throughout is of utmost importance as well. You’re both there to celebrate the opportunity to go deeper in your loving! Your tantric ritual is sure to crash if you forget that.


If your sacred consort starts to get all angular in facial appearance, diminished in glow and inharmonious of voice, then you’re off track. Returning to the ennobling emotional range of the divine archetypes (loving-kindness, compassion, congratulatory joy, and equanimity) is best done sooner than later. The secret is as long as she’s happy and continuing to appear more attractive to you, then you’re on the right track. It’s that simple.


My teacher of red Tantra put it bluntly more than once, “It’s the Dakini’s responsibility to turn on the man.” Everyone loses if you don’t actively entice him.  You know exactly how to be the most seductive, irresistible enchantress that he could ever imagine but didn’t know enough to.

How to make the perfect shrine for your ritual

The shrine for the placement of the adhittana for the ritual can be elaborate or simple depending on personal tastes. I prefer the concept of a shrine rather than that of an altar. I advocate a ‘Zen Pagan’ approach to its construction.

A shrine is a symbolic ‘home’ for ideals or deities. It can be temporary or a permanent fixture. It should be in the same room as the main event. So, if creating one where your nest is going to be has to happen; then so be it. It can have a threshold for offerings, and the whole thing can be utilised as a piece of sacred geometry while playing house with one’s icons. 

Strictly speaking, an altar is a surface where one makes sacrifices to a god or gods in exchange for a favour. A red tantric ritual is a loving celebration of living and an act of co-creation by its participants. Self-sacrifice has its place in love, but just by definition, any other type of sacrifice takes somebody that clings to existence or something still desirable out of the living celebration. That doesn’t seem very inclusively loving to me. Some say an altar is a designated surface for working magic and keeping the tools for such. Well then, enter the concept of ‘the magical shrine’.

In keeping with the Zen Pagan approach, ‘sacred geometry’ in this context is more like Feng Shui. Feng Shui isn’t just Chinese interior decorating; it’s their science of ‘placement with intention’.

A shrine is meant to empower you as you empower it first and foremost. You are the instigating tantric shamans creating a symbolic touchstone through sovereign decisions. You’re not slaves to regurgitated ideas from writers who read books written by writers who read books, ad infinitum.

That said, some ideas have held up through the test of time resonating as good ideas. In keeping with such after careful consideration, it’s useful to have all four of the elements; earth, water, fire, and air each represented by something placed with that intention on the shrine. More accurately, consider these ‘elements’ to be ‘the primordial tendencies all matter exhibits’. Aether, the fifth element, is inherently represented by the symbols for the deities you choose to resonate with. Think of aether as that which carries your cell phone signal across space.

On my shrine…

I place a symbol of the Buddha centrally located as an acknowledgement of the highest ideal that humanity can aspire to. As the Buddha discorporated over 2500 years ago, this doesn’t mean he’s going to incorporate for this occasion but that His Teaching holds court. Thus ‘Zen Pagan’ means polytheism with the noblest of ideals enshrined as an anchor.

On my shrines, there are no pictures of living beings unless they’re specifically part of the intention of the ceremony. There are just representations of the archetypes we wish to accompany us or become extensions of. The latter means incorporating them through their purest qualities. We relate to them as guides.

There’s always an image of a guardian or two to keep out unwanted entities. We always acknowledge these watch-beasts. All of these icons can be statues, pictures, objects, or personally done drawings; you name it: as long as the designation means something distinctly tangible to you. That’s what’s important.

If a visual representation limits complete identification with the deity one wishes to incorporate, omit it. In such a case, it’s ‘non-placement with intention’. Do still make offerings to her or him. Just be clear about why you’re doing what you are to be successful.

Lit candles, pleasing incense, and fresh flowers, if available, are always present for the ceremony. These attract beings from the finer realms to the location and help establish a pathway to their frequencies. Doorways work both ways.

The Anagarika Tibotuwawa, a meditation tutor of mine in Sri Lanka, once said, “Sandalwood is the only thing that wipes out the stench of human beings enough that the Devas will come down and hang around.”

Just remember that what is pleasingly symbolic for you is what matters most. Respect takes many forms.

How to make sure you get to the highest point

To show respect is an excellent way to start. All involved in the ritual should bow three times. I stipulate that the first bow is for the Buddha as the ultimate Teacher. The next one is for His Teaching. The third is for the Community that practices His Teaching. Buddhists refer to these as ‘the Triple Gem’.

First, at a corner of the shrine, I always offer a small vessel of water with the stated intention, “I offer this to the Petas (Pali: hungry ghosts. They can only partake of what is offered to them as they are unable to take anything for themselves). May all beings have fresh water to drink.” This act determines the intention of the shrine as lovingly inclusive.

Then, on previously placed offering dishes (fresh flower petals work well) at the front of the shrine, we offer any entheogen that we will consume to our guides as a respectful gesture. I call each guide by name in turn. The last offering is for a major protective deity (My wife and I like the Tibetan Mahakala, ‘Mahakala’ means ‘Great Black’) to watch over the proceedings. If necessary, to stretch the entheogen for all, it’s mixed with a little water, and a drop of the solution is placed on each petal.

Cannabis we offer separately as we smoke it. Again, I call each guide individually and offer little puffs in their directions before inhaling.

I only prepare an adhittana when using an entheogen other than cannabis. This is just a personal choice. I always offer cannabis to at least one of my guides when smoking it and not engaging in a red tantric ritual. That always enhances the vibration of the event, as noticed by anyone involved. I rarely smoke with anyone other than my tantric partner.

I offer no meat or alcohol so as to keep the etheric vibration elevated. They’re traditional offerings in Tibetan ceremonies but just because a deity like Mahakala usually has meat and alcohol offered doesn’t mean he or she will refuse other things. I prefer to keep out any shades of grey and stick with the light. I only offer entheogens, but some people like to offer dessert. They’re all dessertarians.

After the symbolic offering of the entheogen(s) to the guides, which is always done first as a gesture of honour, the participants take it themselves. Keeping the conversation positive and focused, or affirming their intimacy through physical contact, they wait for it to take effect. Breathing or meditating together facilitates their mutual resonance. Lightness of tone is essential.

After the dust settles on the dance floor

It may come to pass that many hours later (perhaps six to eight, depending) you’re a pair of wonder-filled, euphoric lovers cuddling down in your nest. You’ve morphed through the sensual celestial realms right there in the universal amphitheater with plenty of profound lessons. Perhaps soaking up to thirty bath towels in gallons of woman’s amrita (Sanskrit: nectar; Tantra: clear female ejaculate) in the process. Namaste! Time to integrate.

Remember, not everyone appreciates a shining light. In Buddhist lands, they love to say that when the young monks walk down the road, everyone stares at how brightly they glow. But when the old master walks by, nobody knows anyone’s even been there.

Meanwhile, whoever looks upon you with eyes undusted knows without ever hearing your names, “She is Fire! He is Dance! Now she’s Royal, elegant and free. And he? Her Noble Magus! They exist beyond the Unformed Block, caressing it in the rhythm of the Ages. They’ve descended from the Ones whose names aren’t known to human tongue.”

Sacred sex doesn’t culminate in rituals. It extends into daily living through embodying what you realised as mattering the most during your concerted efforts.  In this way, a woman’s erogenous zones extend past her body to include the way her lover helps takes care of the kitchen sink, the garden, and other mundanities. Expressing her appreciation keeps the Shakti wave rolling.

A man’s cohesion of what matters so as to be able to withstand her semi-wrathful tests of his solidity is one benefit of him integrating the lessons presented in the ritual. Another benefit is his ability to refine the emotional vibration for them to both abide in. These are incredibly commendable achievements.

After a ritual, discard respectfully anything used on the shrine that needs disposal. Whatever it is, it now deserves better than the household garbage. Burning, burying or composting are suitable ways. So is washing by a running drain. Always pour the water for the hungry ghosts on to a living plant. These acts give proper closure to the sacred cycle.

Don’t haggle if you want to be successful

Bargaining while purchasing anything for magical purposes, or for a shrine, destroys its usefulness as a vessel for an etheric (as in aether) vibration.  Helen, the Adept who taught me in Sri Lanka, informed me of this before she sent me looking for an amulet case in the market beside the Temple of the Tooth. When I didn’t haggle as I pulled out the money, the vendor immediately dropped the price. Knowing what I was up to, he wanted to be fair.

Phra George, my mentor as a monk, concurred on the matter regarding buying a Buddha Rupa (statue, literally ‘form’ in Pali). It’s general knowledge in the occult. If you don’t like the price, just walk away. His royally bestowed title translated as ‘the teacher for foreigners under the auspices of the teacher of meditation for all of Thailand’.

There’s a book written in Sri Lanka in the fifth century CE called Visuddhimagga, ‘The Path of Purification’. It’s complete with detailed instructions on developing supernormal powers as well as understanding the nature of reality. In it, there’s a noble intention closing every chapter that I amiably echo here for you sixteen centuries later:

 [This was] ‘…composed for the purpose of gladdening good people’.

Caution: The oldest warning in the entheogen tantric playbook, especially regarding MDMA, is that you need to be careful as you might just fall in love with someone whom you perform union with while chemically influenced. ‘Fall in love’ means being willing to rewrite your life, even if that is an abstraction, in order to include that person. Such is not always appropriate. Be thankful for the ones that get away.

This article is composed of partial threads pulled from the book Sex, Drugs, Enlightenment: Noble Secrets from an Orthodox Buddhist ex-Monk. It’s been reformatted with only minor changes and subtitles to flow smoothly by itself.

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